farting & faults

What was wrong with her was her ability to fart. She farted too much. She couldn’t control the flatulence from coming out. It was a misnomer that women didn’t fart. Everyone in her family seemed to be gassy but for some reason her problem seemed worse. It has caused problems. Nighttime was really where her problem lied. At night when she was in the comfort of her own home either by herself or with friends she could let them come easily and then the laughter. She had been able to impress her guy friends with her ability so much they asked permission to tell their friends. The hard part was when she started dating someone she would have to hold them in so long, especially during a sleepover, that she would get stomach cramps. Cramps so bad that sometimes they lasted for days. She tried to figure out if it was certain foods, the typical suspects, beans, milk products, cheese to no avail. The gas kept coming. It was always a relief when the guy she would date would start farting around her. It gave her the permission to do one once in awhile. She didn’t want to show off and be better than the guy she was with.

What was wrong her was, what was wrong with her, what was wrong with her was she liked picking things. Picking her own blemishes, picking scabs, she used to pick her brother’s ears and pop his zits on his back. It was pretty gross but it was like an addiction something she couldn’t stop. It caused a problem when she got close to someone and really saw something that needed a squeeze or scratch.

What was wrong with her was she couldn’t sit still. She had to always be moving. Moving around the office. Moving around the room. Moving about the country. She couldn’t sit still because she was scared what would happen when not moving. Her mind was in constant movement- ping pong, ping pong. She had tried all the new age bullshit without a relief in sight. Yoga, meditation, acupuncture, somatic therapy. It didn’t matter. She would move around the room during yoga. Trying different peoples mats, which she found out, was a no-no. During mediation she tried, thought about her lists of things she had to do or people she had to call or about unresolved issues. Not really relaxing. During acupuncture, she tried moving but the needles forced her to the table. It felt like a twinge throughout her body. So she laid still. On the table. But her mind. Her mind kept moving.