unexpected things happen. every single day.

hello all- written this late spring from the prompt of the last thing I expected. I wrote about three things that happened unexpectedly. enjoy! and as always thanks all my thanks! ps thanks giants for that win!

The last thing I expected was to be caught in the rain. Again. The sun makes appearance and viola we forget the impeding weather reports-we forget what the last few weeks have brought us-we forget. So as I walk. Walk briskly for my break outside the rectangular walls of education-of learning of pushing and pulling into become ourselves. There it is-the drizzle and me-no umbrella, no jacket, and no one of my favorite purchases-adult rain boots. I walked still. To get the coffee pay for it. I had last week and a salad. For today. I walked naked there. No protection.

The last thing I expected was to open up my computer and see what I saw in it. As I did my morning routine of checking my students grades. I started talking to myself and almost fell of my chair- in happiness. For two of my students, two of my students some teachers had forgotten, had written off, not because of any negative attribute other than fatigue and overwork and under love, had done it. They had gone from failing to not. They had gone from bad grades to good. And in opening it and excitement for their progress-I didn't expect this great news-although there was work and plans and parents. But the bigger part believed they could make a change. And taste success as they smile meekly. It does taste good. And when I told one of the students favorite teachers the news. So that is the good news he said, what is the bad. I told him, there is none. Unexpected to him. The expectation high finally found. I walked in the smile of all three of us as I walked away.

The last thing I expected was to hurt a child with a underwear box. See there in the recycling laid two boxes of men's xist underwear packaging. A budding 10 year old was embarrassed by this. Why would my dad put that in there? To recycle. Yes, but can we turn it over. I don't want to see the front. The front donning a man with perfectly formed abs and arms and showing him sitting in the boxer briefs all in black and white. I would rather see the back. The butt I say. What is wrong with the front? You know. Her eyes look up in a knowingly growing into a woman way. Are his abs not strong enough? Shake head to the right. And left. Do you not like his arms? Shake again.

And then there is choice to run after her with the box. Just to make a little fun. Just to do it. But in the running and fun I by accident bumped her face with the box of the underwear model. And the unexpected words of since you hurt me with the underwear box-do you mind picking me up and swinging around? Unexpected. The unexpected happens. Every single day.

dreaming big by living in others dreams

thanks for stopping by. i just finished one of my best b-day weeks yet- check out this cake! all my thanks always!

Giving up. Giving up to me has always been a foreign concept. Something I knew existed in some other realm but nothing I had a close relaitonship with. Nothing I had spent much time with. Nothing I had smelt under my beautiful imperfect slightly crooked nose. Nothing I had tasted before inside the pencil line fine lines of lips I have. It was what other people did. For I didn't take no for answer. That had its failure too, the not giving up.

Watching someone give up before your eyes happens regularly for me. It happens mostly with the kids. I see her eyes frustration with her inability to get her multiplication tables as I hold the card in front of her. I don't know it, she says with words and with her eyes and the crinkles around and growing on her face. See she is good at most things. Reading chapter books in the beginning of reading and the weekly pursue of the week. Linguistically she excels but this math thing-it takes work. And she gives up as you lay the cards out to play them. But you the caretaker won't let her give up. She can't. For these printed cards with numerals and lines and xs will not be her only challenge but for right now feels like the biggest she ever will have. We can't be good at everything- I know- but she is still learning. We have to practice. It takes time. And it so easy to give up upon that bump in that road making us have to twist and turn in ways we aren't comfortable.

With him math comes easier but many things do not and it is hard to feel accomplished in the glow of the older sister. He is the detective of the house able to find anything lost. He will find it. He is brave in his choice to stand in front of his classmates and talk about being made fun of. And he dreams of playing on the giants. The major league team. He looks at me with all believing eyes and says, you know all the pros started in little league. And they did. He is right. But his only relationship with a ball, a baseball has been being scared of it. I don't want him to give up. So we practice. First with a tennis ball and without a glove, building his confidence until he has the hard ball descending towards him. The hard baseball comes and he winces, again. Let's try grounders, I say. He travels back and forth. His throw improving and then he throws to an invisible person next to me. And then the hard ball with the catching and the misses, we are in the abyss of misses, until he catches and the excitement in a yelp from me and a glow from him. I don't want him to give up either. For it will be hard. But seeing his little success makes him less scared to go. Go on that field again.

Part of giving up, part of feeling like you should be giving up is something I didn't think I knew- I knew personally. Maybe it was the fear of asking for help. Maybe it was the fear of failure. But now I ask for help. And I do take no for an answer. Sometimes. As I help others not give up- I realize the gift of it- is believing in someone- that they can- even if you believe in ways outside yourself and outside of them. I dream bigger then I should and maybe I want them to too. Dream of flying and major leagues and having 4 professions and a day of just sugar.

I guess the never giving up allows the dreaming to happen. And me not giving up has always meant a yes eventually will happen. I do give up now when I have to. When I know I can't be in two places at once or need to throw money at a problem. But the never giving up stays with me along my side and I use it when I need to. When I need to get somewhere far, where I see someone who needs someone to believe- they can get there too. I am not done dreaming and being inside someone else's dreams allows me to keep dreaming too.